


Growing Up...Or Something

by SweatBroandHeckaJeff



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crack, Gen, bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 03:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweatBroandHeckaJeff/pseuds/SweatBroandHeckaJeff
Summary: Ryuji's defiance to be a big boy provokes serious rage from Ann.





	Growing Up...Or Something

**Author's Note:**

> I made gagging noises into Siri for six minutes and this came out

The bitter scent of coffee filled the air of Akira Kurusu's dank fucking bachelor pad, giving The Phantom Thieves a comfortable relaxing feeling. The heat of the curry boiling downstairs gave the teens just the right heat to withstand the mid October chill that was looming over Shibuya. 

"Ryuji, I know this may be painful. It's gonna be hard. But as Phantom Thief, you must do this!" Akira said to his  ~~platonic~~ brofriend, Ryuji Sakamoto.

"But...it's hard! I can't just dive into this shit all at once!" He protested, gesticulating energetically. Akira, the pussy bitch that he was, recoiled from fear of being slapped by Fake Naruto's waving arms and the fact that he can't let his favourite guy down. They shared a tender glance, only of the only signs of emotion they've allowed themselves to show from behind layers and layers of masculinity and even more layers of leather. Hot damn to the Phantom Thieves like leather! You could join the club a nun and come out with a dead cow skin fetish stronger than Akechi's urge to ruin everything. 

Ann, had been mostly a silent spectator, until Morgana decided to chip in with:

"Forget it, frizzy. Ryuji's too much of a spaz to do this"

A great epiphany washed over Ann like a sea of "Joycon boys" comments on an Etika stream, leaving her with only one thought in her mind.

Ryuji Sakamoto WAS a spaz. But she was going to change that!

Slamming her hands onto the nearest thing with the gusto of Phoenix Wright himself, Ann rose up and let out a magnificent encouragement.

"RYUJI SAKAMOTO, IF YOUR LIFE HAD A FACE I'D PUNCH IT IN THE BALLS. YOU'RE MORE OF A PUSSY THAN MORGANA, AND HE'S A FUCKING CAT!!!!" her pigtails turned to flames as she continues berate him for several minutes, before finally getting back in track.

"YOU ARE A GROWN UP BOY, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR VAGINA AND

READ

A

BOOK

WITHOUT

PICTURES"

Ryuji crumbled like the sad loser he was. She was right, he did have his spiky Bart Simpson head stuck in his vagina...and he had to pull it out!

Determined, he lifted the copy of "Haruhi Suzipotter and the Kokoro of AzkaNyan" and flipped to the first page.

"Too many words...I can't... I CAN'T!" He yelled into the heavens.

"Yes you can! I believe in you!" The group chanted as his eyes scanned each word carefully. The words itself painted a picture in his head. Some raggedy old cat bitch and this beard guy we're talking about ding dong ditching some normies with a damn baby. He was enthralled. This was Ryuji's literal second crowning. Rebirth into a world he could understand without diagrams. This was the life. 

-

Months had passed and Ryuji had finally finished the first chapter. We're here for a long time, not a good time, folks

 

**Author's Note:**

> Funny scream haha XD kek random


End file.
